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Do You Need a Hygge?

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Up until the last few years you could definitely describe me as a non-hugger. When I was a department head and mentoring younger members of my department, I'd pass tearful colleagues who needed a hug over to Julie, the lovely lady who sat next to me in the teacher prep room. She was always a great giver of hugs. 

Teaching is a stressful job, especially when you're young and unsure of yourself. When a young staff member stood behind my chair and said in a quavering voice, "Suuuu-ue? Can I talk to you for a minute?" ... Julie would quietly pick up her work and move to the big table at the center of the room. Vacating her chair for whomever was in distress, and giving us some privacy. Then after we'd talked the problem through, I'd say, "Do you need a hug?" And Julie would step in. We laughed and called her seat the "crying chair," and her the official hugger. It became a department joke. I'm a pretty good listener, I can read most people pretty well, and I like to think I offered thoughtful solutions to problems. But hugs, hugs were just not my forté. 

Actually, my point here is not about hugs. But about hygge. I'll admit I wasn't a born hugger... however, I do think I was born for hygge. I excel at hygge. 

red and orange leaves with fog in the background
Autumn morning fog on the river
I'm behind the curve on writing about this trend, I know. No doubt you've heard of hygge, the Danish and Norwegian word pronounced "hoo-guh," defined by the Oxford dictionary as "a quality of cosiness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being." According to Anna Altman in her 2016 article in The New Yorker, "winter is the most hygge time of the year." Apparently the Danish are masters of hygge, and that's where the idea spread from a couple of years ago. From Denmark... you know, in Scandinavia, where the cold and dark winter months last a long time, and people need to hunker down and survive, with their sanity intact, until spring. And it just dawned on me that trendy or not... hygge is what happens in Canada every winter. 

So, hygge. As a Canadian living in a country with a long, cold, dark winter, what does it mean to me? Hmmm. It might mean sitting around the fire, wearing cosy sweaters and heavy socks, sipping wine, chatting with friends. Or maybe Hubby and I have prepared a candle lit dinner for four, and over the murmur of conversation around the table, we can sometimes hear the wind whipping the snow around outside. Or, muscles tight from a long ski, I might be lounging by the fire in silent contentment with a book in one hand and a cup of tea in the other, while my significant other snoozes on the sofa. Oh, yeah. I was born to hygge.

frozen pond surrounded by dead grass and trees
We walked by this frozen pond today, but didn't have our skates with us.
In fact, Hubby's and my relationship started with a whole lot of hygge. We had our first date in mid-December, on our second we went skiing and had a cosy supper at his house. But I wrote all about our early relationship in this post, so I won't bore you with it again. Let's just say that every year the onset of winter, with Christmas approaching, has me all nostalgic. 

unpaved country road, lined by autumn fields
Lonely country road in late fall. 
Late fall and winter is our best time together, really. Long, late afternoon walks in the crisp air followed by dinner by the fire, maybe watching an episode of Heatbeat, oInspector Gently, or some other British mystery show. My favourite form of hygge is an afternoon ski, followed by tea, and a good book for me, a nap for Hubby, then a bath, a glass of wine, dinner, another fire. Yep, I'd say we're the King and Queen of cosy convivial contentment.


sunset across a partially snow-covered field
Time to head home
So Hubby and I have always been fans of hygge.  It's just that for years and years we didn't know that there was such a thing as hygge. And now it's ubiquitous. Everything is about hygge. Or so it seems. In her Guardian article The Hygge Conspiracy Charlotte Higgins examines what she calls a "wildly over-hyped trend" that descended on us in 2016, and prompted "an avalanche of books" to be written analysing the "hygge formula," which Higgins says was largely manufactured by the people who wanted to sell us these books. Or sell us anything, and everything... "from woolly socks and cashmere cardigans to vegan shepherd's pie, yoga retreats, even teeny-tiny festive harnesses for dachshunds." Higgins also looks beyond the rampant consumerism spawned by the trend to what it means in Denmark. Hygge has a darker side, she says. A papering over of troubles, a pulling up the drawbridge against the world kind of side. Have a look at her article for yourself; it's really interesting. 

roaring fire
Hubby has the fire going, must be time for supper.
But here's the thing. Just because a trend makes people like book sellers, woolly sock manufacturers, and makers of tiny festive harnesses go all crazy to jump on the bandwagon before the ship sails. Ha. How's that for a perfectly mixed metaphor? Just because the idea of hygge isn't perfect, even in Denmark, doesn't mean that parts of it aren't good. That we all couldn't learn a lesson on how to slow down, light a few candles, and savour the small things in life. 

We don't really need a book, or an avalanche of books, to tell us how to do that. And we certainly don't need to worry if the socks we lounge in front of the fire in are designer cashmere. 

Not that designer cashmere is a bad thing, she said, remembering her new burgundy Akris sweater. 


So yeah, hygge and me we go way, way back. Hugs not so much. Oddly enough, over the years, my hug-aversion seems to have fallen by the wayside. I don't know when it happened. Maybe when I turned fifty? But I hug at the drop of a hat now. Funny isn't it? 




So how about you folks? Do you live in a place with a long, cold, dark winter? Do you need a hygge?





This week I'm joining Thursday Favourite Things Link Party and #Saturday Share Link-up 

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